The rules

What are rules for? Traffic laws ensure motorist and pedestrian safety. Writing rules make writers better at their job. School rules help teachers corale their students. They're in place to make sure we don't act like jerks. There are so many rules to remember, but without them, our society would be chaotic, unmanageable, Neanderthal-like. And then there are some rules that are just meant to be broken.


Mind your manners.
Don't speak until spoken to.
Don't talk back.
Wash your hands.
Say please and thank you.
Watch your step.
No turn on red.
Pedestrians have the right of way.
Pretend you're fascinated by conversation, even if you're bored to tears.
No yawning.
No burping.
Don't make a scene.
Hold my hand.
Look both ways.
Clean up after yourself.
Don't drink from the milk carton.
Don't overeat.
Wear a helmet.
Bundle up.
Hit save!
Save money.
Open a 401 K.
Get married and have kids before you turn 30.
Clean up your messes.
Respect your elders.
Always write a thank-you letter after receiving a birthday or Christmas present.
Be sure to remove the price tag before giving a gift.
Clean the house before Mom gets home.
Don't burn your bridges.
Get a trim every 6 to 8 weeks.

'I' before 'e' except after 'c.'
Don't use cliches.
If you keep a blog, you need to post at least once per week.
Don't forget about and abandon your website.
Spell check.
Blog posts should be around 4-600 words long.
Tweet back.

No white pants or shoes after Labor Day.
If you expose a lot of skin on top, cover up on the bottom, and vice versa.
No panty lines.
Don't let your bra straps show.
No socks with sandals.
Don't wear black and brown together (unless you're doing it on purpose, and never ever wear black shoes with brown socks). 

Cell phone:
Don't use it around company.
Put the ringer on silent in interviews and movies.
Don't talk as loud as you do in person.
Call people back.
No talking in the bathroom.

Give them a fresh towel and sheets.
Let them have the last piece of pie.
Let them decide the tv show.

Keep all limbs inside the frame.
Delete bad pics (no matter how bad you want to keep them for black mail).

What rules do you have?